Title: Drawn silence - Chapter 9: Silent regret
Pairing: Kamenashi Kazuya/ Yamashita Tomohisa; Akanishi Jin/ Nishikido Ryo; Akanishi Jin/ Kamenashi Kazuya [Brothers]
Multi Chapter in 26 Chapters
Genre: AU, romance, angst, drama,
Disclaimer: I don’t own the boys, but the story is mine. :D
Note: English is not my native language, so I'm sorry for mistakes
Summary: Yamapi is new in town and he searches for new friends. Luckily he meets Ryo, Jin and Jin's brother Kazuya and starts to hang out with them. Everything would be perfect - even his growing feelings towards Kazuya, but the fact that Kazuya isn't able to speak makes everything more complicated. Kazuya isn't able to communicate with anyone, and no one knows why.
Jin smashed the mobile against the cupboard and smiled when he managed it to put it on. He looked at the display and didn’t move a single millimeter. He read the first message three times, before he clicked on the second one.
I can’t anymore, it’s over
I don’t want to see you again, never again
A cold feeling rushed through his body and he bit on his lips. He knew it was often difficult for Ryo to handle the situation with him and his brother, but he always thought it wasn’t a big problem between them. He dialed Ryo’s number, but the phone was off and only the mail box was telling him, that the number was currently not available. Jin hung up and cursed the day. He knew it was his fault, but he didn’t know what he should do now. He tried to call Ryo’s mum, but she only told him, that she haven’t seen him since hours.
“Pi, do you know where Ryo is? I need to talk to him!”, Jin said nervously and bit on his fingernail.
“No, why shall I know it?”, Pi answered and yawned loudly.
“It was only a question, sorry for waking you up. Tell me when you hear something from him, maybe he will talk to you”, Jin said and wanted to hang up when he heard Pi talking to him: “What have you done, Jin?”
“Nothing special, it’s between me and Ryo, but please tell me if you know something”, Jin said again and hung up.
Pi looked at Ryo next to him, sitting there on the border of his bed, staring at the wall. He heard Jin’s voice and he knew that Jin searched for him, but Ryo didn’t want to talk to the other one. Ryo looked so pitiable next to him in his way too big clothes, which Pi gave him when they returned at his place, and with his teary eyes, some drops were falling on his lap and he rubbed every single of them away.
“You really don’t want to talk to him?”, Pi asked carefully and saw Ryo shaking his head energetically. “I won’t return to him, I won’t, won’t, won’t”, Ryo said and made Pi smiling slightly. Even though the situation wasn’t funny at all, he had to smile about the childish way of talking Ryo had.
“But maybe you should”, Pi kept on at him.
“But I don’t want to. He hurt me again, and it wouldn’t become better”, Ryo answered and sobbed. Pi put his hand on the other one’s shoulder and tried to calm him down. “Maybe I can talk to him?”, he suggested after some time and waited for Ryo’s answer. “But don’t tell him where I am”, he said and looked up to the other one.
“I won’t, I promise”, Pi said and stood up. It was 10pm, and normally too late to talk to someone, but it he tried to call Jin again.
“Jin, can I come by?”, Pi only said and nodded at Ryo when he left the room. A few minutes later he knocked at Jin’s door and waited till he let him in.
“Pi, do you know something new?”, Jin said and walked back to the living room, where Kazuya was still sitting and staring at the wall. He heard Pi’s voice and looked up, directly into his face.
“Hey Kazuya, everything alright?”, Pi asked gently and wanted to turn to Jin again, when he saw the other one nodding at him. Jin and Pi stopped walking and looked at each other. “You nodded again?!”, Jin said and walked up to his brother, kneeling down in front of him. Kazuya looked at him and did nothing – again.
Jin sighed deeply and stood up to walk back to Pi. “It’s senseless, he won’t react. It’s you, whom he trust.”, Jin said and looked at Pi with a mix of anger and frustration.
“Jin, I am not here to talk about Kazuya, I am here to talk about Ryo”, Pi said and saw the other one wincing when he called Ryo’s name.
“Do you know where he is?”, Jin asked and stepped closer.
“Yes and no – I can’t tell you, but he is fine. He just don’t want to talk to you nor he wants to see you”, Pi said and sat down on the chair next to him, waiting till Jin rubbed his forehead, giving his answer: “It couldn’t have been that hard…it was an emergency, Kazuya needed me”.
“Jin, Kazuya is old enough, he doesn’t speak, yes, but he is not ill or stupid. He can care about himself. You have to live your own life too. And Ryo won’t be a part of your future, when you are going on like this. Jin, you have to recognize, that Ryo feels like he is number 100 in your life, and not at least number two after your brother.”, Pi answered.
“But I love him”, Jin said sadly.
“Yes, but you have to see that Kazuya is of course important in your life, but Ryo is there to give you the strength you need. He is always gives you encourage and he is the one who had to listen to all the problems you have with Kazuya. And it is only normal, that he wants some attention too, and I think that’s what he misses in your relationship”, Pi answered.
“Was it that hard for him?”, Jin didn’t know what he should think right in this moment. He never thought that there was such a big problem in his relationship, and Ryo never said a single word to him about it.
Pi took his mobile out of the pocket and showed Jin the picture he made from Ryo standing in the rain.
“Ouch, now my heart is broken…I never thought he feels this way”, Jin said and bit on his lips, still staring at the little picture on the phone. Ryo stood there, his clothes wet, his hair in a mess, looking down on the ground, some tears in his already swollen eyes and his cheeks slightly red. “Please Pi, where is he?”, Jin asked the other one again.
“I promised to keep quiet, and I will do this. I can talk to him, maybe he will talk to you if I try it again”, Pi said and saw Jin nodding sadly. He could understand that the other one really wanted to talk to Ryo, but he also understood Ryo’s feelings and he respected his decision to avoid Jin. Pi walked home and opened the door to his room silently. He couldn’t see any light when he entered the room and saw Ryo coiled up on the bed, already deep asleep. He searched for some clothes and wanted to walk to the guest room when he heard Ryo’s voice from behind: “What did he say?”.
“He regrets it, and maybe you should talk to him. I showed him a picture I took from you in the rain, and I think he knows now what you feel.”, Pi answered and walked back to the bed.
“I won’t go back to him immediately. He hurt me”, Ryo pouted, his eyes half closed and nearly fallen asleep again.
“Think of everything”, Pi answered and walked out of the room.
Pi lied down in the guest room and closed his eyes. Kazuya was popping up in his mind again, and he felt this warm and soft feeling rising up in him again. He couldn’t deny that he felt something for the other one, but he couldn’t say what it was. Did he only want to protect him, was he proud that Kazuya “talked” to him, was it love? He couldn’t say it, and his feelings got more and more confusing.
On the next morning Pi knocked on the door to his room and heard Ryo from inside: “Come in”. Pi saw Ryo sitting on the windowsill, staring on the sea.
“You have a great sight from here”, he said slowly, his voice silent and Pi could see that he must have cried the whole night.
“That’s true, it always let me slip into another world, far away from here”, Pi said.
“Pi, I don’t know if I want back to him”, Ryo said out of the blue and looked at Pi. He knitted his eyebrows and crossed his arms before he said to the other one: “What bothers you?”
“What?”, Pi answered and shook his head.
“I can see that something is wrong.”, Ryo replied.
“Ano…I don’t know if I can tell you about it…”, Pi started and saw Ryo listening to him closely.
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