yukitsubute (yukitsubute) wrote,

Hello my dear friends,

how are you doing?

I am in my new job now, finally. :) And till now I totally love it. It's a lot to learn though and it feels a little bit like back on university, because we have lessons and exams. So there is no "normal" work for me right now ;) But nevertheless I enjoy it
Coming home around 4 pm is much better than 8 pm, even though I need to leave home earlier.

What else happened in my life during the last weeks? Not much...*lol*

I try hard working on some creative activities, because I suffer from hard mood swings. I don't know why, but I can be happy in one moment and totally crushed in the next moment. I had some issues with depressions and panic attacks some time ago, and somehow I don't get rid of it now. I don't want to start a therapy again, but being creative always helps me.

It's like hundreds of questions running through my brain till I have the feeling to faint. It's like a bunch of people talking at the same time, everone with a different question, I have no answer to. I can think about a single problem for hours, getting totally into it and make it worse than it actually is. It's hard to describe how this attacks and depressions work on me. It's a little bit like running in circles. Thinking about issues where you can't have an answer for. Like what will happen if this happens when that happens because this happens. Does that make any sense?

So the best thing for me is either talking about what stresses me (which is easier said than done, because I am not a person who's good in talking about feelings and things which are a burden for me - maybe because some problems sound really ridiculous when you speak it out loud and it's hard to understand that tiny things can make someone feel really bad) or doing creative work to distract me from what I am thinking about. I can totally concentrate on something else and switch off the things hunting me.

I want to check if there's a possibility to start with playing theater again, but in my hometown that's almost impossible. And I think I don't have enough people around me, who'd join for it. -.-'

So I try to bring up other creative sides of mine ^^ I don't know if I should start studying again, but I fear that'll be too much for now, because I have several exams for my work to do. :( But maybe I'll check out which studies would be a possibility. ^^

Or maybe I'll make a course to learn to draw ^^ I don't know though if it's something I am good at :D

I am totally into writing mood right now, not only fanfiction, but also a fantasy story I am working on. :) I hope that I'll get the chance to publish it one day (even though I know that this is hardly possible, but never give up a dream right?)

Okay, enough from my moody words now.

I want to write about more positive things now:

For my fanfiction I made a plan. ^^ I want to finish my multi chapter the unknown and then I am torn between those multi chapter ideas, which one do you like most?

Title: Medium
Pairing: Sakuraiba or JunBa
Genre: mystery
Plot: Aiba is a medium, who is able to communicate with ghosts, who are stuck between earth and heaven. They are there because they died under mysterious circumstances, like murder. A path which wasn’t chosen for them. To bring them to heaven, Aiba needs to find the truth behind their deaths, but it’s not easy to work with a detective who absolutely doesn’t believe in “hocus pocus”.

Title: Master game
Pairing: RyoKam e
Genre: sport, AU
Plot: Kame is a high rated baseball player. He is one of them best ones till he has a major injury on his leg. It’s a hard way to get back to number 1. Depressions, anger, pain are mixed with desperation. Just one thing makes him laugh at least one time a week: his physiotherapist, Nishikido Ryo.

Title: Bookworm
Pairing: JunBa
Genre: AU,
Plot: Aiba is the owner of a small bookstore. He is specialist for foreign language literature and he loves his job more than anything else. With the shop owners in his street, Ohno the fish seller, Nino the ice cream shop owner and Sho the fortune teller he has a lot of fun, but when the teacher Jun enters his bookstore for the first time, his life turns upside down.

Title: Play the game
Pairing: Aimiya
Genre: AU
Plot: There is this new video game which makes addicted – and Nino needs it. He wants to play it now. It’s an open world RPG, and luckily he had three weeks off to stay in his apartment and play this game – the only thing he’d do. At least till he realises that the character he had created for this game comes to life and turns his life into a mess.

Title: Lost
Pairing: not decided yet
Genre: history, AU
Plot: Aiba leaves his clan to live the life far away from the other samurai. He didn’t want this life anymore. He had seen too much murder and cruelty. He got to know about some guys, who live hidden in the forest. They are loners, and Aiba isn’t sure if they’d let him join or if they really existed, but he needed to find it out, before he’d die, because his old clan was already after him.

Title: Never again
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Genre: Hish school AU
Plot: Aiba knows that a teacher/ student relationship is strictly forbidden, but his new student and head boy Sho doesn’t make it easy for him to resist.

Title: Money
Pairing: Juntoshi
Genre: AU, high school
Plot: When Ohno comes to a new school, everyone believes he is the poor kid from next door. Especially Jun, who comes from a high society family, doesn’t want to be in contact with a student, who didn’t even possess proper clothes. What no one knows: Ohno is heir of one of the richest families in Japan, he just doesn’t want to show it everyone.

Title: Art forgery
Pairing: not decided yet, Arashi
Genre: AU, history, art
Plot: 5 guys spend their life with art forgery. They steal the paintings, make new forgeries and sell the real ones on the black market till they get forced to help the police. A new challenge for the guys, because none of them is used to work on a legal way.

So which one is your favourite?
(I wanted to change something in the entry and saw that the poll got deleted, so I post it again, I noticed one vote for bookworm already ;))

Poll #2045415 Which is your favourite idea?

Which idea do you like most?

Art forgery (not deciced)
Money (Juntoshi)
Never again (sakuraiba)
Lost (not decided yet)
Play the game (Aimiya)
Bookworm (JunBa)
Master game (RyoKame)
Medium (Sakuraiba or JunBa)
Tags: my life
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