Hide and seek - Chapter 5: Cold as ice
Title: Hide and seek – Chapter 5: Cold as ice
Pairing: Akanishi Jin/ Kamenashi Kazuya
Genre: romance, angst, friendship
Warning: ANGST (not in this chapter, but I already know the end of the story….); The story is NOT based on real happenings of Kat-tun!!
Disclaimer: I don’t own the boys, but the story is mine. :D
Note: English is not my native language, so I'm sorry for mistakes
Summary: Jin and Kame are again a couple, and it starts to work out quiet well, till Kame disappears, and Jin tries to find him. A journey through the last years start. Jin has to remember about their past, about their break ups, about their beloved moments, because only in remembering those he would be able to find Kame. It's a run against time, because Jin doesn't know where Kame is, or what has happened to him.
Jin lied on the bed and thought of the time when he left Japan for studying abroad. He and Kame had various fights during this time, and their relationship became harder for both of them. Jin was often with Ryo and Pi, while Kame often retired himself and sat at home, being jealous about Jin going out.
They fought about things, which were normally no problem, and even if Jin talked to a waitress Kame started to be jealous. The first time Jin found this behavior somehow cute, but it became more and more difficult to handle this situation. Jin always loved the evenings with his friends in various bars and clubs, and he never thought of having someone else than his boyfriend, but Kame didn’t understand it. He thought Jin only wanted to find some other guys for having sex.
Jin wanted to end the relationship, but he didn’t know how, because he still loved the other one, but the jealousy wasn’t bearable anymore. So he made a step, which he regretted now, some years later, but during these days it was the only chance he saw. He decided to study abroad for six months to get some distance to the whole situation. He knew he should have talked to Kame, and told him about the plans, but he declared his break during a rehearsal and Kame didn’t understand a single word. Jin knew he had smashed the other one’s heart in this moment, but he saw no other way, and when he looked at the other one’s eyes, he regretted that he chose this way, but it was already too late.
The last rehearsals before he left the country were horrible. Kame ignored him, and the others seemed to care about Kame, and ignoring him too. Jin tried to stay calm and counted the days till his departure.
“It’s our last evening together”, Ryo smiled desperately. He’d definitely miss his best friend during the next months. “With whom shall I talk now?”, he added.
“You can call me, Ryo-chan. We can Skype and mail, so we stay in contact of course”, Jin smiles and leaned against the wall. They sat on the roof terrace and looked at the sunset. MatsuJun and Pi walked up to them with some bottles of beer and wine and sat next to them.
“Who shall drink all of it?”, Jin smiled and took one bottle of beer.
“Weeeeeeee,” Pi screamed and laughed loudly.
“Jin, Jini, Jin-boy, Jini-bini, Jini-boy, Akajin,…” MatsuJun started late at night and laughed loudly.
“Hey, I am not Jini-bini, or something like that”, Jin had to laugh too and pricked into Jun’s cheeks.
“Jin, why did you break up?”, Ryo asked a few hours later when the others were still asleep.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Ryo.” He said and lied on the sleeve on the ground to sleep at least for some hours.
Ryo looked at his best friend and sighed, because he knew, that there was a lot of feeling for Kame in Jin’s heart, but there must have something happened between them.
Jin sat in his apartment and looked at the rain pouring against his window. He was deep in thoughts when someone knocked on his door. Jin knitted his eyebrows and stood up to open the door.
“Kame?”, Jin couldn’t believe his eyes. What was his ex doing here? Why did he come by?
“Jin, I want to talk to you!” Kame stood there and looked at him with sad eyes.
Jin let him in, and guided him to the living room. He brought him something to drink and sat down towards him.
“Jin, I came here to talk to you.” Kame said with a small voice.
“Kame, I don’t think that it’s useful to talk about it, we both know that it won’t work out.” Jin said slowly and tried to be friendly.
“Jin, let’s talk…” but Jin interrupted him: “Kame, please…we tried it, and it didn’t work out. You were jealous, more than jealous. And you know I love to go out and enjoy my life, I never betrayed you, never, but I love to talk to others and I don’t want to think of my jealous boyfriend sitting at home and cursing me for going out. And it was exactly like this.”
Kame looked down on the floor and sighed before he said: “Koki said it would end like this. Jin – I hope you find your luck there, and when you return…I don’t know how it will work out…I really don’t know…” Kame stood up and left the apartment.
“What the fuck was this? What did he do here?” Jin was irritated and shook his head. In this night he lied in his bed, unable to sleep and thought of everything. On the next day he’d fly to LA and his life would change. He would change.
A few weeks passed and Jin had started his new life in LA.
“Jinnnn”, Ryo screamed when he saw his best friend on the laptop.
“Holy crap….don’t scream that loud, I can hear you”, Jin put away his headphones and rubbed his ear. They often talked via Skype and webcam.
“Jin, we miss you here, really”, Ryo was bouncy, Jin could see that something had happened.
“What’s up my Shorty?”
“Hey, don’t call me like that, I don’t like it”, Ryo pouted. Jin laughed and crossed his arms in front of him. He missed Japan, he missed his friends, even though his life was perfect in LA.
“Something happened, I can see it in your eyes, Ryo-chan”
“Yeessss, Uchi and I made it up again.” Ryo grinned and bounced up and down in his seat.
“Ahhh, I thought of something like that”, Jin said and smirked.
“And you, Jiniiii”, Ryo was hyper, and Jin hated these moments, because nobody was able to calm Ryo down.
“Oh gosh! Don’t call me like that…nothing happened here, everything is like ever.”
“What? Nothing? Are you still thinking of Kame?”, Ryo looked at him through the webcam and Jin was glad that the picture wasn’t that clear, so Ryo might not see his sad eyes.
“No, never. I almost forgot about him. Maybe I will go out tonight”, Jin answered and tried to forget about Kame’s face in his mind.
Ryo and Jin ended their talk and Jin wanted to go offline when he got a message from Kame.
K: Can we talk?
K: I want to visit someone in LA, can we meet up?
K: Not your job, I just wanted to ask you if you want to meet up
J: You know someone in LA?
K: Not your job, Yes or no?
J: I don’t mind!
K: Next week, 12pm?
J: I don’t mind.
Jin went offline and lied down. He cursed himself, because he didn’t want to meet up with him again, but he couldn’t say no, it was some part in him, which wanted to meet him.
“You don’t know anyone in LA Kame…” Jin said before he fell asleep.
One week later he stood in front of the coffee shop and waited. He saw him walking up to him, and his heart beat faster.
“Hey” Kame smiled slightly and looked at the other one.
“Hey Kame”, Jin answered and sat down in the café.
A long silence appeared and Jin didn’t know what he should say. Kame stored in his coffee and was lost in thoughts, till Jin sighed:
“What do you want to speak about?”
Kame winced because of the sudden words and looked at the other one: “Jin, can we make a second try?”
“I think it’s a bad idea Kamenashi. We know that it wouldn’t work out. I think it’ll be the best thing to go separate ways from now on.” Jin tried to sound cold and rough, and it seemed to work, but on the inside he felt pain. He knew it was senseless to try it again, Kame’s jealousy and his fear of losing him, which leaded into leech on to him was unbearable for Jin. And even though he still loved him, he couldn’t stay with him.
Kame nodded and Jin could see him being desperate and tears came up in him.
Go before you become weak – go – go –go – go….Jin thought and stood up. “I go now, it is better in this way”.
He didn’t look at Kame again, just put the money on the table and left the café without any other word. He reached his apartment and sat on his bed, his head in his hands and started to cry. He didn’t know if it was the right decision, but for now it was the best.
A few days later Jin crowded the whole situation and was smiling again. “Jin…you are online, man, where were you?” Ryo and Pi smiled into the webcam.
“I was out on nearly every evening. It’s great here, you have to visit me!”, Jin smiled back and tipped with his pencil on the table.
“Jin, he is alright, he came back a few days ago and started to work much harder than before. I had a small talk with Koki, they are often out together, you know they are kind of best friends.” Pi said slowly.
“I am not interested in what he is doing, but thanks for the information”, Jin said and the feeling of having done something wrong came up in him again.
“Jin, we will come to visit you in a few weeks, and try to find good locations, ne?!”, Ryo tried to change the topic and grinned into the camera.
“I promise I will check every bar in town”, Jin smirked and leaned back.
“Your best friend was Koki…I remember…”, Jin whispered and stood up. “Bye mum”, he waved his hand and ran out of the door.
He reached Koki’s apartment half an hour later and knocked on the door. “C’mon…open the door…” he whispered and knocked again.
“Jin?”, Koki was astonished and knitted his eyebrows. Right before Jin could answer Koki continued: “Ah, the message…yes, I will give it to you, wait a minute”. Koki ran back to his living room and returned a minute later.
“Here, he gave it to me a few weeks ago”
“A few weeks?”, Jin whispered and shook his head.
“Thanks, eh, I am sorry,” Jin said and hurried downstairs.
Koki stood and only shook his head before he returned to his apartment with a single: “Everything too late”.