Hello my dear friends,
how are you doing?
I am in my new job now, finally. :) And till now I totally love it. It's a lot to learn though and it feels a little bit like back on university, because we have lessons and exams. So there is no "normal" work for me right now ;) But nevertheless I enjoy it
Coming home around 4 pm is much better than 8 pm, even though I need to leave home earlier.
What else happened in my life during the last weeks? Not much...*lol*
I try hard working on some creative activities, because I suffer from hard mood swings. I don't know why, but I can be happy in one moment and totally crushed in the next moment. I had some issues with depressions and panic attacks some time ago, and somehow I don't get rid of it now. I don't want to start a therapy again, but being creative always helps me.
It's like hundreds of questions running through my brain till I have the feeling to faint. It's like a bunch of people talking at the same time, everone with a different question, I have no answer to. I can think about a single problem for hours, getting totally into it and make it worse than it actually is. It's hard to describe how this attacks and depressions work on me. It's a little bit like running in circles. Thinking about issues where you can't have an answer for. Like what will happen if this happens when that happens because this happens. Does that make any sense?
So the best thing for me is either talking about what stresses me (which is easier said than done, because I am not a person who's good in talking about feelings and things which are a burden for me - maybe because some problems sound really ridiculous when you speak it out loud and it's hard to understand that tiny things can make someone feel really bad) or doing creative work to distract me from what I am thinking about. I can totally concentrate on something else and switch off the things hunting me.
I want to check if there's a possibility to start with playing theater again, but in my hometown that's almost impossible. And I think I don't have enough people around me, who'd join for it. -.-'
So I try to bring up other creative sides of mine ^^ I don't know if I should start studying again, but I fear that'll be too much for now, because I have several exams for my work to do. :( But maybe I'll check out which studies would be a possibility. ^^
Or maybe I'll make a course to learn to draw ^^ I don't know though if it's something I am good at :D
I am totally into writing mood right now, not only fanfiction, but also a fantasy story I am working on. :) I hope that I'll get the chance to publish it one day (even though I know that this is hardly possible, but never give up a dream right?)
Okay, enough from my moody words now.
I want to write about more positive things now:( Fanficiton stuff and pollCollapse )